Archive for Bill O’Reilly

Northwest Airlines’ dirty laundry aired in wake of Underpants Bomber

Posted in News with tags , , , , on January 3, 2010 by thechickywing

A picture is beginning to surface after the terrible and terrifying terror incident Christmas Day on Northwest Airlines Flight 253. And that picture is of a badly scarred and hopelessly singed pair of underpants, used to hold an explosive destined for freedom loving Americans.

Now, a week later, the media asks why.

“What is most alarming about the incident,” notes gonzo journalist Bill O’Reilly, “is that the underpants appear to be American in origin, from a wealthy family” though BBC investigators have now found the underpants were educated abroad after a long bout of silent depression.

Others yet claim the problem of terrorism can only be solved by looking to the problems of America, not abroad, and that if domestic policy were adapted, we might eliminate the terrorists’ motives for attacking in the first place.

This opinion seems to ring true in this particular case, as a source close to the Underpants Bomber revealed in an exclusive interview with Miso Funny that the troubled young terrorist had been furious when Northwest Airlines announced they would no longer be serving roasted nuts on flights.

“He said something rash would have to be done, that a man had to make his own way in the world and that he would have to bring his own, in that case” says the source, describing the Underpants Bomber’s growing frustration with what  he called “the system.”

It leaves you wondering what kind of security measures they’ll have to put in place should Yankee Stadium ever threaten to stop serving charred wieners.

– Chicky Wing, reporting from Detroit